His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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