I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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