if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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