im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
