oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
