make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
