Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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