Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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