So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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