Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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