Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
