covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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