my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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