Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I skipped work to stalk him.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
