I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
