At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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