hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize