That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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