This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
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I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
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He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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