do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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