he thought i was a dude.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
