I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Enjoy the penises