I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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