I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
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She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
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His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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