its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
