So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's blow job season.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
