Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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