butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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