he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
