69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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