Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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