I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
