i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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