First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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