the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
