shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
