why didn't you poke me back
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
