check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
