in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
