I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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