he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
