Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
bring money and cleavage
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
