Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize