Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
