Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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