Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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