ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
