Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
