Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
