I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
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