the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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