"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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