Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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