This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
