Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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