It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
