porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
