It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Randomize
