i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
