I just pynch a tree in the face
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
send nudes
from the living room?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
