I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
