i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
