Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
