god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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