in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
3pm strippers are depressing
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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