even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
